Thursday, January 14, 2016

Why I Am Not Ashamed Of My Past

Why am I not ashamed? Because it happened in the past! I have had the opportunity to experience many things in my life and I have been able to learn and grow from each of those experiences.
Ok time to stop beating around the bush and just come out and say what I actually mean here.


Ok maybe not thousands of men...but you get the idea.  I did, I slept around in my younger days. And do you know what?!?! I loved it!

I'm not ashamed of who I was when I was growing up!
I will not allow people to make me feel shameful for my past!

What do you want me to say? That I hated having sex? That I wish I would have saved myself for marriage? Do you want me to feel ashamed for what I did?
Well I don't...now.
Sure I felt bad occasionally back then. I mean I was told that having sex outside of marriage was one of the worst sins there was.
I also didn't like when I felt used, or when I felt like I was just their booty call, but that was only because I wanted more of a relationship with that person(s).
But guess what? I used them too! There were plenty of times I just wanted my booty call and they wanted more of a relationship.
Hell there were plenty of times I slept with someone just because I was bored and they were there.

I don't feel ashamed though because of everything I learned from it all:

I learned how to have safe(er) sex.
After a pregnancy scare you better believe I brushed up my act and was 1000% better about having and practicing safe sex!

I learned what feels good and what doesn't feel good.
I was able to get to know MY body and what it liked and what made me feel all tingly. I got to know what made me go "ummmm hell no!" and "ow ow ow". These things are important to know people!

I learned that I was more then just a piece of meat.
There were plenty of times that I just let the guy walk all over me and I was just his doormat and because of that I was able to know that I NEVER wanted to feel like that again!

I learned that sex can lead to some great emotional connections.

I learned that you can have some great sex without having an emotional connection.
Sometimes sex is just sex and that's fine - even in a loving committed relationship

I learned that even though I was a little chubby, I could still get some.

I learned to love my body.
...ok never mind still working on this one...

I learned what mental abuse was and that I would never let it happen again.

I learned what love was and what love wasn't.

I learned that sex doesn't have to be serious.

I learned to take control and to give control.

I learned what consent really was.

...and probably a thousand more things that I've learned.

And after all that I learned that sex is FUCKING awesome!!!

When I finally settled down, I was able to be a better support for my husband, who was a virgin when we got hitched. (sorry babe I'm outing you here)

My husband isn't mad that I slept around before we got married and in fact he actually thanks me for getting to know myself so early on so that we could jump right into exploring and getting into all that good and mostly kinky stuff right from the start!
(Oh Lord could you imagine if we were both virgins dear?!?!)

Seriously though I liked it! And I am done having people tell me that I should be ashamed of my past and should be ashamed that I have had sex with so many people. Without my past I can honestly say I don't think I would have learned half of the things about myself. And I believe that I would probably view sex in general as a shameful thing.

I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad for learning who I was when I was younger and who I am now!


Friday, November 21, 2014

Why not start with this

There are many misconceptions about the LDS church or Mormons when it comes to sex.  What can and can't you do. Is sex really that bad? The answer is NO! It is fraking awesome! And we really need to stop teaching that it is bad or that it is something to be ashamed of!
I could actually write on this all day, and maybe some day I will but for now I invite you to listen to this podcast that I got to be a part of.
Episode 13: Sex with Mormons
Chris found some interesting people, including myself :) , to interview for this episode, and there are some very interesting stories in the episode.
It's just a small, small snippet of some people here in Utah and kind of more specific to the kink community, again including myself, but it does paint the picture as to what is going on especially here in Utah.
So go check out Chris Sowa at Sex with Strangers 




NOTE: I do not endorse nor support the kink scene that is described at about :30mins, I find it very sad and not amusing.

Monday, November 17, 2014

How do you start a blog?

No really how do you start a blog about nothing?  A blog that is going to be a little of everything, will most likely have bad grammar and spelling errors, and be random brain dumps of whatever I feel like writing any given day?
I guess I should start with a introduction.
I am a 28 year old female living in Utah.  I have been happily married for 6 years and we have 2 beautiful children.  I am LDS/Mormon.  I am in school and studying Psychology and Human Sexuality, but seeing as I am going to that one school here in Utah that does not offer human sexuality classes I am taking online courses in that subject.
That being said this blog will most likely be around my education, and a little bit about family.
I have lots of hobbies and interests that are very diverse.  I also want to share personal stories and experiences that may help others in this crazy journey of life.

Monday, July 28, 2014

What to say

This is going to be the craziest non sensical blog you will ever read.
It is going to be a brain dump of my thoughts, feelings, and whatever advice I can offer the world.